i was really upset last night after a comment my dad said to me. he called my fat in a different way. he told me i looked pregnant. then he said if i was would i tell him, he wouldnt be mad if i was. im like please he would to be pissed off about that. but im not. i mean thats soo fucked up. you DO NOT tell your daughter that. women cry over those things. no wonder i call myself fat all the time. cus of him. well after that little episode i called my boyfriend and talked to him from like i dunno 845-11 on the phone and using aim. i was so upset. all i did was cry over the phone and on aim. i couldnt help myself. its just how i felt. so im gonna get back into my routine of things and get back into my working out. i worked out last night for about a 1/2 hour or so. thats my routine 30-45 minutes. its not much but i get a lot done in that time frame. people yo. Cornell is still as sweet as can be. when im sad, hes sad and visa versa. he says im fine the way i am and he loves me for it. i think im fine to. i could just tone my muscles a little more thats all. im gonna work hard these two semesters at my routine and then we'll see whos calling who fat. fucking people yo. well i saw my friend Rich today, and Tina and Shannon and Robby and Michelle and Jen. i saw more people than i usually do the first day back to school. my classes dont really seem that hard at all. they seem pretty easy. a few thoughts here and there were like what have i gotten myself into lol. but i know what i've done and i just gotta pass so i can get out of Suffolk this year. despite that drama i saw a couple walking through the hall today and the girl was trying to hold hands with her bf and he was just like whatever, not even acknowledging that she was trying to hold his arm or hand or whatever. he just kept walking. im like thats so messed up. how can you be with someone and not want them to touch you. unless of course you are agaisnt the whole "showing affection in public" thing. but get real if you cant hold their hand then what are you doing with them esp if thats what you like to do. i dunno people get on my nerves. i swear i feel like im PMS-ing. but im not. no actually i feel more like im depressed. which i know i am in some areas and not in others. of course we all know why. my dad needed my truck today so i got the pleasure of driving my moms truck today. which wasnt all that bad. i usually dont like taking hers because her speakers in the front and sometimes in the back dont work cus they're blown. but they were working today so that was a good thing. i was backing up out of a parking lot and almost hit some guys pick up truck cus i dont know the demensions of my moms truck. thankfully i didnt hit it, could you imagine me trying to explain how i hit a parked car backing up out of a parking lot? uhh no. well i got a pretty close parking spot regardless of how packed the school parking lots were. i almost killed my friend Kim, i was like "parking spot!" and slammed on my breaks and pulled into it. meanwhile she was leaning forward which she isnt supposed to be doing in the first place cus remember this is me driving. lol. i cant help it that im sometimes a reckless endangerment to those in my vechile. so far i need to by only 2 books. my math book and a short story book. me and Kim are splitting the cost of the other english book that we need, since we are in the same class. which is good i dont have to dish out 80 dollas for it lol. only 40 lol. and im so not keeping it. lol. the math book kinda sucks cus they changed it and now we have to buy it new, but the good thing is that its a soft cover book and not a hard cover book, so its less money. thank god for small favors. lol. well its 110pm and im gonna go chill before i have to be at work. peace love and hair grease. lol. leave me some love. im out! :D
and i cant sleep, i've been up since 730. actually more about 630 on and off. my dog was crying outside my door so that woke me up, then my alarm went off for school since that starts tomarrow. so i was kinda on and off from then on. i had a weird dream about the train station, but i was sleeping in my dream and i just remember hearing the train getting closer and closer then i woke up to realize that my dad was in the basement playing with his lionel trains. oh fun. so that was it, that was about 730 and i've been up and out of bed since then. i talked to my boyfriends mom last night on the phone for a lil while cus she called me back after me leaving a message on her phone saying that he got to school safely. she was saying how he was honest and loyal and really sweet and he wouldnt be looking for any other girls, u know all the things i knew already. :wink: she also told me that i could call her anytime just to talk and maybe we could go out to lunch or something. shes really sweet i love her. after we hung up i had gone to get something to drink and when i came back i had a new voicemail and guess who it was, Doreen, Cornelius' mommy, she wanted to know if he had giving me a number for his room so i called her back with the number and gave it to her. 20 minutes later she called me and said on my voicemail that the phone was busy and she was trying to call for the full 20 minutes so there might be something wrong with his phone unless he was just on it. lol. who knows. i know my house phone was busy for about an hour. but that was only because my dad was online. so yea. i miss my baby soooooo much, oh my god you have no idea :!: :cry: i know exactly what i will be getting Cornell for his christmas gift. :idea: EXACTLY what im getting him. although i cant say it on here because then he'll know cus he reads it. all i gotta say is that its gonna be about 4 things. :) so it should be good. Kim wanted me to call her when i got up, i dont think she'd be too thrilled if i called her now. lol :o although i should just to annoy the hell outta her. that would be funny. im not gonna call her though cus im just gonna see her tomarrow. GOOD NEWS :!: :arrow: KIM IS NO LONGER IN MY MATH CLASS :!: unfortunately she said that she was gonna try to swtich into it so she can be with me all day. if thats not creepy i dont know what is. Michelle came over yesterday and we took Tyler for a walk. Tyler had stepped on something and he was limping all night last night, but now he seems fine, like nothing ever happened. so thats def good news to hear.i felt so bad for him but now he's all better. * :D claps* Michelle is in big trouble with her parents. lemme tell you why. well she had gone out with her boyfriend to a 1230am movie the other night. well she got sick cus she was feeling sick for a couple days before so she started to feel better and she wanted to see him. so they went to the movie, Michelle was supposed to be home after the movie but she had gotten sick and started throwing up, they pulled over at taco bell (of all places right Cornell?) and her and her bf got out of the car and as soon as she felt better they walked the 4 miles back to his house and fell asleep on his couch until his aunt woke up to drive her home. well she didnt get home till 8 that morning when she was supposed to be home at 3 that morning. so yea her parents are pissed. her mom had to wake up when she walked in the door at 8am. so yea. ooh they're pissed. well at least its not me :!: :D thats all for today. ttyl. leave me love peace.
my aim is being kinda weird and i cant type anything in it lol. but i see you! well Cornell got up to utica safe, his car just overheated. which isnt good! but at least he's there ok. thats the important thing you know. i miss him like crazy, my aim is being a bitch and wont let me type anything in it so now i gotta use the orginal aol version of the aim which you cant directly connect to. but at least i can talk to him. which is good. i think id go crazy if i had to keep using my phone. my mom is trying to teach Tyler something new i guess. she keeps calling him over. i was crying on the way home from after seeing Cornell for the last time for about 2 months and my dog was with me and he licked my face as if to say 'its ok mommy dont cry.' he's so cute! well im about to bounce now and talk to my baby. PEACE!
the last few days have been wonderful, im not ready yet to see Cornell go. i went to Hallmark and bought him a card and a picture frame keychain. that way he always has it on him. hang on and ill get the card and tell you what it says. okay. well i put my picture into the keychain so thats already done all he has to do is attach it to his keys. :)well the card says: "It's so hard for me to be apart from you, even when it's only for a short while. I'll see something I wish I could share with you, experience something new, and wish you could be part of it. But I hope you know that even when we're not together, I'm always thinking of you. During the day, you're with me in thought, so that wnenever I see something I think you'd enjoy, in a special way you're sharing it with me. And at night, I fall asleep dreaming of how wonderful it will feel to be back in your arms. Every day that we're apart, I'm looking forward to when we'll be together again so i can show you how much I missed you...how much I love you." i think its sweet. and it says exactly how i feel and what i will be feeling for those short (i hope they're short) months that he's away at college. well we just have two more days then he's leaving. i gotta be at work tomarrow at 930am which sucks ass. but i get out at 245 which isnt too bad. lol. then sat the last day i'm with Cornell before he leaves, i work from 1030-315 woohoo and then that day we have a bbq to go to. his family. so that should be fun and thats not in a sarcastic way either, it will be fun. well im about to bounce. leave me love.
yep 5 days until Cornell leaves for school. its been a great 6 months and i dont want it to end, i wont see him until probably october when he has that break. we'll get through it, i know we will. we have such a strong bond, that its unbreakable. i mean come on we havent even argued yet. and thats great. :) well i have Tyler a bath today and took him for a walk. i also went down to my job so i could return soda bottles/cans for my mom, i took Tlyer with me. i took him into the store in a shopping cart. lol. i mean he's a monster. lol. he's a 8 month old Basset Hound, and the cutest at that. but he's all muscle and he's huge! i wish i had the muscle he has in all places on my body lol. he's crazy. well anyway heres a few songs that go straight out to Cornell.
Right Here Waiting By: Monica
Verse 1: Oceans apart Day after day And I slowly go insane I hear your voice On the line But it doesn't stop the pain I see you next to never How can we stay forever
Chorus: Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you
Verse 2: I took for granted All the time That I thought would last somehow I hear the laughter and I taste the tears But I can't get near you now Oh can you see it baby You've got me goin' crazy
Chorus
Verse 3: I wonder how we came so survive This romance, but in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance
Instrumental Break
Chorus
Outro: I'll be right here waiting for you Oh, I love yo Oh whatever it takes Whatever you do Where ever you go I'm never leavin' you (I Will Be Waiting) I'll be right here waiting, for youuuuu oh oh, youuu
One In A Million By: Aaliyah
Intro: Love it babe. Love it babe. (repeats and fades)
Verse 1: Baby you don't know,what you do to me. Between me and you, I feel a chemistry. Won't let noone come and take your place. Cause the love you give can't be replaced. See noone else love me like you do. That's why I want to spend my life with you. Wanna please you in anyway I can. Wanna share my world don't you understand.
Chorus: Your love is a one in a million it goes on and on and on you give me a really good feelin all day long. Your love is a one in a million it goes on and on and on you give me a really good feelin all day long.
Verse 2: Turn me inside out make my heart speak. Don't want nobody else you are all I need. Personality(ty) in everything you do(do) Makes me love everything bout you. Your smile your style so fly I can't deny I got a crush on you and that's true indeed. I'm diggin you your makin me believe.
Chorus
Verse 3: I'll give you anything you want from me anything you want anything you need anything your soul desires I'll give you anything you want from me anything you want anything you need anything your soul desires
Chorus
well thats all for today i just got off the phone with Michelle and she wants me to go out with her and Jen tonight but my stomach hurts and i gotta wait for Cornell to come over. peace. leave me some love.
I'm getting better. i should be fully over this cold in a couple days. Well Andrew has decided to re-do how things will be for our rehearsals/studio time and shows will be running. which i believe is a good thing. last night i hung out with Cornell, he came over and we just chilled. yesh. it was fun, even though we really didnt do much. that comes this upcoming week. its his last week here before he goes back to school, i cant believe its only a week left. i remember talking about it with him about like 5months ago saying that the summer was going to go by sooo slow. oh my god, then next thing you know its months later our 6 months anniversary is coming up FAST! and a few days after that he's leaving. :cry: i dont want him to leave. i'll be lost without him. its like a part of me will be going with him and then that means ill be losing a part of myself along with him. we'll get through it i know we will. besides he gets a lot more breaks at his college than i do mine. so he'll be coming home a lot more than i will be going up there. :) which is good :D i've been ready to go back to school for a month already. all the beach worthy days i was working, then the other beach worthy days that i had off i had to do something else and then the days i was free to go to the beach it rained. so im sick and im done with this CRAPPY summer. it was bullshit i hate summer. well this summer anyway. leave me love. peace.
yep i've been sick for the past couple days. i havent seen Cornell in a couple days either. Although i will see him tonight. He's gonna come over and watch movies all night with me. Theres nothing he can do since im sick, but the fact of him being with me makes me feel better. I called in sick to my job and they starting bitching at me that im killing them because theres only 2 cashiers there. well im sorry that im sick. okay. theres nothign that i can do about that now can i? nope nothing. you just have to deal. oh that means the bookkeepers have to get out and ring when breaks and lunches go out. and do they want to do that? no they dont, y? cus their asses are LAZY! yep thats right. people yo, they piss me off. well i called in sick to work today just so i could rest and get my energy back for working 5 1/2 hours tomarrow. so thats good. thats the only reason otherwise i'd be back at work today. so they just gotta deal with it and make due with what they got right? Well the other night when i was hanging out with Cornell, AJ and Robby called me to go to a rehearsal but i didnt want to go, that was my first day in getting sick, and i couldnt sing. well i could have but i wouldnt have sounded at my best. they were having the rehearsals in riverhead. and theres no way i was gonna go if im not feeling well you know. They really have to tell me these things in advance, like 'yo we're having a rehearsal this friday can you make it?' u know like that. well anyway. leave me love and ill ttyl. oh yea I LOVE CORNELL!!!
since both my parents are sick im just hooing that i dont get sick as well. i mean that would suck some major ass. i've been waking up with sore throats in the morning but they go away and i've been waking up with a stuffy nose but that has also been going away through the course of the day. so its prolly just early symptoms of a cold. but i seriously hope not. i went to the store yesterday with my friend Kim and we got notebooks and pens for school, i picked up a package of pencils by mistake, they looked like pens! ugh im so pissed but you know what they'll be good for math. lol. statistics. oh yea. that course is supposed to be mad hard. so i guess i'll find out. i got McDonalds happy meal for dinner. yes im a big kid. and my boyfriend Cornell stopped by last night. which he usually spends his tuesday nights playing cards with Rob he decided not to go and give me a call instead. :) i feel so loved. :) well he didnt stay over too long just until about 11pm, he worked yesterday and he felt and looked really tired so he left after the movie 10 things i hate about you. lol. it was on tv but its a good movie! well thats all for now. leave me love.
life sucks today. both my mom and dad are sick and all they're doing is bitching. my mom and me when to the store today to do food shopping and all she did was bitch on the way home about how everything is her fault. hmm sounds like someone else i know. and i know my dad is gonna come from work in a bitchy mood cus he's sick, i dont know why he just didnt stay home, oh yea thats right cus we dont have any money, lol. well we do but not as much as we should right now you know. well anyway so thats how my morning went and guess what its only gonna be better (note the sarcasm) oh yea. ttyl leave me love.
im not sure about anything anymore. today at work sucked huge ass cus the two bookkeepers upfront had huge bugs up their asses and were sending everyone on break way too early. i got back to work and still had 4 hours left, that means four hours on my feet straight. they're all assholes that place sucks donkey dick. so anyway. i get to see my baby tonight so that makes it all worthwhile. i need a new job. thats a definate. i'll be going school shopping tomarrow. i already got clothes and now all i need are sneakers which hopefully ill be getting on my next paycheck and i need notebooks and shit like that, which im getting tomarrow. well i guess thats it for today. peace.
everyone seems a little pissed off today. my dad came home in a bitchy mood today and i dont know why. i started complaining about how retarded my computer is and he's like 'thats because you dont know how to use to right.' what fuckin idiot doesnt know to fuckin use a computer? retards. anyway. my friend Andrew is pissed off to. wonder why? maybe ill check out his blog after im finished with mine and find out. lol. well my puppy (Tyler) is just as physco as ever, he got a bath today and the crazy mutt ran around the house at least 4 times in a row. he's crazy. i dunno. lets just hope Cornell had/has a good day at work and he doesnt come home bitchy either. :) laters peace.
Well let me tell you a little about myself. I'm from NY, 20 years old, I'm going to school for Law/Admistration, I have my lovely, sweet, cute, sexy, vibrant, caring boyfriend, Cornell. Its gonna be 6 months Baby! omg. lol. He's gonna be going back to school in a couple weeks and I DONT want him to go! no! he can't! lol But he has to. It's his last year. So he will be shipping off. I gotta go to work at 1130-430 so I'm gonna go get dressed and shit and I'll ttyl. Peace out. Bye!
