yep im in no mood for this shit today. i was supposed to have a 20 question math test today. but yea like that happened. we had a fire drill so we only had to do 9 questions and the rest was extra credit but shes gonna give us 10-20 to do on tuesday when we come back. that sucks major ass. shes giving us a different set of questions to do TUESDAY this fuckin sucks ass like you wouldnt believe. but yea now at least i have a few more days to study cus lord knows i have no idea what the fuck im doing in this class. so yea. its good but its also bad in a way. so i dunno. now im debating on whether to do go my english class or not. i dunno i dont really want to cus that means rushing my ass off to get to work on time. and if i dont go to english i really have nothing to do so yea. maybe ill walk over to the cafe and get something to eat now thats if they have anything. well im out PEACE
oh yea. well today is actually going pretty good so far. i just found out about 20 minutes ago that i have a test in my law class. well its more like a quiz which i am so unprepared for its not even funny. thats one test thats im gonna take down the shitter with me. ohh yea. well at least my math test that i have this week i will do good in i hope. as for everything else Andrew's party was good. i had a lot of fun. i stopped drinking once i was able to feel the affects of it, cus of course i had to work the next day and didnt want to go to work with a fuckin hangover. thats all i would need right? yea. although i still have somewhat of a headache, but its not the affects of alcohol though. that should've past already. right? ahoy. today after my last class at 145 im gonna go home and i should be there around 2ish. and then im gonna hang out with 2 of my friends, Jen (from nassua) and Andrew who you all cleary know. J and Jay are gonna help me do my christmas shopping for Cornell. i know J has some good ideas cus her bf is like a majorly obsessed football fan, i mean he eats, sleeps, showers, works football. majorly obsessed fan. so yea. maybe she could help me out. and Jay is just basically gonna be there cus 1. he has nothing better to do than to shop with two girls lol. and 2. he can prolly help, god i hope so lol. that is not to be taking any other way than nicely. okay? aights well im off now. peace outs later.
i dont have much time to add an entry cus i have about 20 minutes before class actually starts. so lets have the run down shall we. well yesterday at work wasnt too bad, no one really bothered me. fararro just kept saying stupid shit like he always does, and the stupid shit is what we already know by working at that fucking place. even the new people fucking know it for crying out loud. anyway. i told Cornell that i was going to Andrew's birthday party this saturday after work and he's ok with it. he actually seems to like the kid. which kind of took my by surprise cus last i knew he didnt like him, or he wasnt too fond of him. so thats cool that he seems to like him. what would be scary is that Andrew might start liking Cornell. that would be kind of scarey although AJ did say that he thought Cornell was cool. but thats just from what i told him about him. and yea. well anyway. i have work today from 145-630 oh that fun that will be. so i really dont know. im not all up for it, i hate that place, i hate going there unless of course i have a reason to and getting paid is one of them lol. but going there to work isnt. i swear that place is like a jail sentence for the time you have to be there. well im out now i got, wow 15 minutes before class starts. lol. wow i type fast. so peace out laters.
well i got up this morning and went to school. My dog, Tyler, woke me up this morning as usual. hes my alarm clock. i had to get gas which costs $40. but hhey charge it right? yep well i went to school and both my classes, math and english, felt like they were taking forever. Figures right? Those two classes. math is just boring and i dread English because my professor never lets us go early. and i have to be at work by 1pm on tuesdays and thursdays. oh speaking about work, this should be good right? Herse the low down. one time i was short $50.00 and my fuckin manager made me go for a cashier training. now a training has nothing to do with money mind you. Kim sold alcohol to a minor-cashier retrainging. Jeanine gave 56 books of stamps away for free when the guy only asked for 6 and she charged him for 6. she was supposed to be fired for that, IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED!!!!! its like i know how to fucking ring you know. i dont need a course its not my fault i was short. fuckin idiots now today i get this notice saying that i was $16.78 short last week which i was. it was highlighted and said "unexceptable any other shortages-retraining" im like what the fuck? for less than $50?! which they're supposed to do fro $50 or more at ONE stortage. Im like this is fucking bullshit. and then farraro is like "short again i see thats not good get you act together" i didnt answer him cus that right there is UNEXCEPTABLE in my terms. who the hell does he thinnk he is anyway my parents i dont fucking think so. then oh it gets better. after that 30 seconds of silence cuz i didnt want to talk to him or see him for that matter after that he said "did you hear me dora baby? are you listening?" i was just like 'yea' but it sounded like i wanted to say 'yea duh you fuckin idiot' kind of tone. that was something else that is totally UNCALLED for and UNEXCEPTABLE do NOT FUCKING talk to me like you would your FUCKIN wife okay? i swear he can take that whole store and shove it up his strechted out fuckin ashole! *chuckle chuckle LMFAO* hahahahaha i made it funny. stretched out fuckin asshole hahahah lol. i think hes been fuckin ex-employees too much. please i swear ive never met more of a sexist and hateful boss in my entire life. Even COrnell's ex-boss knew how to runa fuckin business as much as i hate to admit that cus he was a another liar. But all in all this fuckin idiot apprently doesnt know the 1st thing about running a business! he really doesnt i also dont know why [u]SOME[/u] of his employees like him. what do him and those 'some' employees exchange job positiion for ass fucking the manager. if thats what you gotta do to get him to like you or get a different position there then i dont want no part of it. he's a sick fuck im telling you i cant wait until i find a different job elsewhere. one where ill be treated with respect by employees, customers and bosses. there will be NO degrading or sexual degrading remarks. oh god i cant wait till i get the fuck out of this shithole they call a job. im out. dont talk to me cus im gonna do my english paper. BYE NOW LEAVE!!!!
well today is going well for far. i know i havent updated in about a week or more. sorry. i've just been so busy with all the bullshit that comes along with this fucked up life. yesterday i found out that i had a page paper due in philosphy class today! that i had to sit and write. then my computer froze and i was getting really pissed off cus i thought i would lose the whole thing. ugh. it was all drama the whole fucking day. at work i didnt get to close until i was supposed to go home. i closed at exactly 428pm and i went home at 430pm cus i had to wait for steve to come back from break cus laura's stupid ass dont know how to close anybody. ugh i cant stand her. at least mike would've let me close you know? so yea. thats how my day went yesterday. today in phil i get to see my friend Andrew who's birthday is tomarrow. happy birthday Andrew! he turns 20! good for him. lol. yes that was meant to be sacrastic. so yea. Kim is just annoying as ever. god i cant stand her sometimes. you would think im PMS-ing. i mean seriously. thank god i only see her when i drive her to school most days. on wednesday i will see her for about 20 minutes then jet off to my rehearsals. i also had this weird dream that went a lil like this...
I was laying in my room on my bed with Cornell and we were kissing. i knew it was him but at the same time in my mind and to him i kept telling him that i shouldnt be doing that because my boyfriend(him away at school it was the same person!!!) might find out i was cheating. it was really weird but i continued to kiss him anyway.
i mean it was really weird. it was the same person the exact same person! so i dunno. what is that trying to tell me? that i miss him that much well duh i knew that fuckin one already. i dunno. ill catch ya'll later. peace love and hair grease.
the past few days about my life, family and those who are close to me. well i have come up with Cliff seirosuly needs a new social group and a gil to kick his ass in shape. most definately. Cliff needs that, it will so much better for him in the long run, he's sweet, he's cute, he's funny and he's such a good kid. he deserves it. My family issues goes as follows i found out that a family memeber of mine (who shall remain nameless for the time being) was writing letters that contained sexual content being sold. she was kicked out of her living enviornment and now lives in the dorm. She's been hanging out with a gang of blacks, now when people say gang and sexual content, usually it means bad and you gotta get out of it as soon as possible. I'm not saying the people are bad i'm just saying thats what it usually means. She's been drinkin and smoking cigarrettes like they're going out of style, god only knows if shes smoking anything else. i know shes having sex, shes playing more than one guy. i just know she is for a fact. i'm not saying that having sex is bad, im saying having sex with more than one person is bad and it could wind up in AIDS, esp if she goes to these parties and they get her so fucked up that she blacks out. and im afraid for her. And this is my family member that ive always been close to. not its like i harldy know her. i just dont believe that she could be so stupid. and now the only reason why she wants to do anything is to get away from the situation that shes in cus she's made it so hectic that now its all a fucked up mess. I honestly dont want to get involved. we used to be so tight what happened to us? i know we live in two totally different cities but we are still family. she has family where she is but they could care less what happens to her. we actually care and for her to hurt us like this, not to mention herself, its like she has no respect for her family or for herself. And that hurts more than anything. i dont want her to end up whoring herself or selling drugs just to get money to survive, that shit only winds up with AIDS or HIV or any other number of STD's. i dont want that to happen to her, im worried and honestly theres nothing that i can do or say to her to make her think differently. she wont listen to anybody. she has to learn for herself and honestly by the time she learns this lesson it might be too late to change things. but hopefully it wont be.
This goes out two people that i care for: Cliff and My family member that remains nameless for now.
Waterfalls Artist: TLC
Verse 1: A lonely mother gazing out of her window Staring at a son that she just can't touch If at any time he's in a jam She'll be by his side But he doesn't realize he hurts her so much But all the praying just ain't helping At all 'cause he can't seem to keep His self out of trouble So he goes out and he makes his money The best way he knows how Another body laying cold in the gutter Listen to me
Chorus: Don't go chasing waterfalls Please stick to the rivers and lakes that You're used to I know that you're gonna have it your way Or nothing at all But I think you're moving too fast
Verse 2: Little precious has a natural obsession For temptation but he just can't see She gives him loving that his body can't handle But all he can say is baby it's good to me One day he goes and takes a glimpse In the mirror But he doesn't recognize his own face His health is fading and he doesn't know why 3 letters took him to his final resting place Y'all don't hear me
Chorus
Rap: I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms have come and gone Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray Is it because my life is ten shades of gray? I pray all ten fade away Seldom praise Him for the sunny days And like His promise is true Only my faith can undo The many chances I blew To bring my life to anew Clear blue and unconditional skies Have dried the tears from my eyes No more lonely cries My only bleedin' hope Is for the folk who can't cope Wit such an endurin' pain That it keeps 'em in the pourin' rain Who's to blame For tootin' caine in your own vein What a shame You shoot and aim for someone else's brain You claim the insane And name this day in time For fallin' prey to crime I say the system got you victim to your own mind Dreams are hopeless aspirations In hopes of comin' true Believe in yourself The rest is up to me and you
my day started off great and then it just progressively got worse. I got hit with two cases of bad news this morning. One case is about my boyfriends brother Cliff which I don't feel like talking about, it's not really my place to say. I'm just gonna leave it as Cliff needs a new social group of friends and a girl to keep his ass in check. Lets just say if he were my kid he would not be living right now if he did what Cliff did okay? MY second case of bad new is about my totally fucked up family. I really dont feel like talking about my cousin, Sheena, right now cuz it will just upset me more. I've had cramps all day. Since 1230 this afternoon until about 4pm, that was pretty much my whole shift. so i had a miserable day. my stomach still kinda hurts but not as much as it did, esp since i was starving cus all i had today was a peach and then a roast beef and cheese hero when i got home. so im gonna go. BYE!
DEAREST UNCLE DAN! WE MISS YOU MORE AND MORE WITH EACH DAY THAT PASSES, I CANT BELIEVE THAT ITS BEEN 3 YEARS. I LOVE YOU, YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU, AND YOUR FRIENDS LOVE YOU. R.I.P.
i am sitting in the comp lab doing nothing just chillen with Jen. I'm waiting until Michelle gets out of her 2 class so i can take her home and then go to the hospital and the Maryhaven office center to see if they have any job opporunities for me. god i hope so. i cant afford to work at Cock Kullen anymore.jesus lord knows i hate that fuckin place with a fucking passion. oh yea soo much. so yea thats always good to know right? so yea anyway. i called my baby this morning to make sure he was awake for his 12 class. yesh he has to be awake, he cant go there sleepy can he? i dont think so. lol. there is a topic that has troubled me lately so i'm going to state and just please comment on it. thank you. I'm not quite sure what everything is all about with anything anymore. everthing just seems so confusing. It's like I hope it is, I hope its not. You know what I'm getting at? Probably not. Honestly it was about a dream that I had, had last night that really made me think when I woke up this morning. Just about life, love, honesty, loyalty, you know the whole nine yards. Is it all a figment of someones imagination or are we all real in some fucked up sinario of this so-called life? Does anything even make sense anymore about life, love, sex, paranoia, trust, lies, hate, and descrestion. Sometimes it just doesnt feel like anything is real. When you feel alone, nothing is real, anything can happen and no one would even take a second look at it. Your thoughts are just that, thoughts that you were thinking at some point and now you dont even remember what they were as if you were forced to forget them. Thats what memories are. The rememberance of something that you forget in time because it wasnt that close to you, but its who you are. Memories. Why disregard something so dear and they when its lost you wonder why you dont have it no longer? How can we as people look at something and then totally pretend/ignore that it didn't just happen? Even though its something serious like the death of a child or a car accident that you have witnessed? Is it that people dont want to be bothered by those things and that is why they ignore it or pretend that it didnt happen? Are people that cold hearted and cruel that they will turn their backs on their fellow American? If thats the case, then why are American's so hurt by others who do the same thing to them when it's their car accident or their child that is hurt? Why are people so selfish and into themselves that they can even spare a helping hand or a $5.00 bill to someone in need? Just some thoughts on things that have troubled me in my dreams and in reality. Thank you for taking the time out and reading. Today was and still is very interesting. and all that i have found out about everything i will treasure for years to come. please R&R. peace, love and most of all care for all things great and small.
Nothing really happened today. but you know i am so done with the stupid food store industry. I'm so happy to be lookng for a new job. one of my very good customers said that her friend Pam was looking for a secretary, i'm like 'i'm all there!' most def. tomarrow ill be going to check out the hospitals to see if they need any help in pretty much any area. I'm all there. lol. well time for the whole point of todays entry.
This song basically says it all.
Angel Of Mine By Monica
When I first saw you I already knew There was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of mine I look at you, lookin' at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm gonna love you boy you are so fine Angel of Mine
How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different now, you helped me grow You came into my life sent from above When I lost all hope you showed me love I'm checkin' for ya boy you're right on time Angel of Mine
Nothing means more to me than what we share No one in this whole world can ever compare Last night the way you moved is still on my mind Angel of Mine
What you mean to me you'll never know Deep inside I need to show You came into my life sent from above (Sent from above) When I lost all hope, you showed me love (Boy you showerd me love) I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time (Right on Time) Angel of Mine (Angel of mine)
I never knew I could feel each moment As if it were new, Every breath that I take, the love that we make I only share it with you (you, you, you,you) When I first saw you I already knew There was something inside of you Something I thought that I would never find Angel of Mine
You came into my life sent from above (Came into my life, yeah yeah yeah) When I lost all hope you showed me love (Boy You showed me love, uh huh) I'm shakin' for ya, boy you're right on time (But boy your right on time) Angel of Mine (Angel of mine, oh mine)
How you changed my world you'll never know I'm different now, you helped me grow I look at you lookin' at me Now I know why they say the best things are free I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time Angel of Mine
well i went to school and then afterwards i got my paycheck which was an awesome one i might add. AWESOME!!! i did a lil shopping. i picked up shit paper, 4 packages of string-ums (12 in a package), rawhides for my dog, and a camera. i got a pic of me with my new hair cut, and i took pictures of my dads shitbox so now i still have like 14 more pictures left. i gotta get some pictures of my friends and more of myself and Tyler. I will then send them up to my baby Corn-EL-ius so he can see them. im watching spongebob squarepants. lol. hmmm...my mind is still racing of little stresses that i shouldnt even be stressing over but i am. but at least its not as bad as last night. peace. leave love.
I stand corrected on two topics today. 1st off my dads shitbox that he got for free from down the block. well remember i said that thing was a downgrade of a shitbox. well turns out i got a better look at that thing in the day light and it its not worthy of the stereotype "downgrade of a shitbox", its not even worth the name shitbox. its not even worth the name 'junkyard material' thats how bad that thing is. i swear im gonna be taking pictures of this thing. i dont know what to call it anymore. Cornell you can tell me when you see the pictures. well 2nd off today, when i said i had my philosophy class in the southampton building its not. they changed my scheduale without me knowing so my class was in the annex building. X105 well they also changed my section number to which i was unaware of so i went to room X105 to find out that i didnt have the same section number so i went back to the southampton building to find out where i was supposed to be. the sign on the door said X107 for my section number. well turns out i wasnt supposed to be in that class because i wasnt on the roster, well i signed up for that particular class back in may and 4 people who signed up for it two weeks prior got into the class and they took me and 5 other people out who signed up in may. well was i pissed. i blew two shitfits today. one with the people in the ammerman building, they didnt feel like dealing with me so they sent me back to the southampton building to the philosphy room so they could deal with me. and so i blew yet another shitfit in there and of course like the BITCH that i am, i got my way. so i am in my class with the cool professor that i was in, in the beginning cus the fuckin school fucked up. no surprise there, its suffolk college. well thats my drama today. enjoy. goodbye. leave love. PEACE!
right now i'm at school. its not too bad cus i have about an hour or so before i gotta go to my last class in the southampton building. i still havent seen Andrew yet. im kinda curious on what he's taking. i mean i know what he's taking but i dont know where he is. so yea. i just got done writing Cornell an email. so he should be getting that when he gets online later. right now he's gonna be going to class in a few cus he has class at 12. then one at 630-930. so yea ill prolly be talking to him before he goes off to class. hang on. ok im back i just had to download yahoo messenger real quick. okay.ahh yes, so i dunno. i miss Cornell but the 2 semesters he has left are his last and wil be going by very fast. esp if you look at the calendar for the year. its gonna go by soo fast. i have my mom truck yet again so i just gotta be home by 4 at the latest so i can give her truck back, my dad needed mine for something he's doing with his thunderbird in garage. oh man he got this other old thunderbird its a downgrade of a shitbox i mean this thing is horrible. so horrible. i mean theres no floor in it, no steeringwheel, no roof lining. i mean this thing is one of the biggest downgrades of a shitbox i have ever seen in my life. i swear im gonna take pictures of it and show them to Cornell. its sooo funny. my dad is only using the engine (or at least whats left of the engine) for parts for his thunderbird. well im gonna go ttyl. leave me love and lots of it. lol. peace!
