i am sitting in the comp lab doing nothing just chillen with Jen. I'm waiting until Michelle gets out of her 2 class so i can take her home and then go to the hospital and the Maryhaven office center to see if they have any job opporunities for me. god i hope so.  i cant afford to work at Cock Kullen anymore.jesus lord knows i hate that fuckin place with a fucking passion. oh yea soo much. so yea thats always good to know right? so yea anyway. i called my baby this morning to make sure he was awake for his 12 class. yesh he has to be awake, he cant go there sleepy can he? i dont think so. lol. there is a topic that has troubled me lately so i'm going to state and just please comment on it. thank you.
I'm not quite sure what everything is all about with anything anymore. everthing just seems so confusing. It's like I hope it is, I hope its not. You know what I'm getting at? Probably not. Honestly it was about a dream that I had, had last night that really made me think when I woke up this morning. Just about life, love, honesty, loyalty, you know the whole nine yards. Is it all a figment of someones imagination or are we all real in some fucked up sinario of this so-called life? Does anything even make sense anymore about life, love, sex, paranoia, trust, lies, hate, and descrestion. Sometimes it just doesnt feel like anything is real. When you feel alone, nothing is real, anything can happen and no one would even take a second look at it. Your thoughts are just that, thoughts that you were thinking at some point and now you dont even remember what they were as if you were forced to forget them. Thats what memories are. The rememberance of something that you forget in time because it wasnt that close to you, but its who you are. Memories. Why disregard something so dear and they when its lost you wonder why you dont have it no longer? How can we as people look at something and then totally pretend/ignore that it didn't just happen? Even though its something serious like the death of a child or a car accident that you have witnessed? Is it that people dont want to be bothered by those things and that is why they ignore it or pretend that it didnt happen? Are people that cold hearted and cruel that they will turn their backs on their fellow American? If thats the case, then why are American's so hurt by others who do the same thing to them when it's their car accident or their child that is hurt? Why are people so selfish and into themselves that they can even spare a helping hand or a $5.00 bill to someone in need? Just some thoughts on things that have troubled me in my dreams and in reality. Thank you for taking the time out and reading.
Today was and still is very interesting. and all that i have found out about everything i will treasure for years to come. please R&R. peace, love and most of all care for all things great and small.